If 2020 was a wardrobe item, it would be dusty heels.
In February, I was looking at purchasing a new floral dress, but by April, I was scrolling on The Iconic looking for new sweatpants to add to my collection.
Long gone are the days of tight denim (anything form-fitting really), heeled booties and leather jackets. Instead, here we all sat, in the comfort of our own lounge rooms, witnessing what can only be described as a renaissance: the resurgence of sweatpants. The only issue? This uncharted territory comes with a whole new set of problems.
Companies tried to sell us ideas of what they think is our perfect lounge-wear set. Oversized or fitted, fuzzy or fluffy, neon or nude, velour or bedazzled, Paris Hilton in Juicy Couture or Sue Sylvester on Glee? These are all important questions to consider! And these are the questions that, despite being eight months into 2020, still remain unanswered.
What we’ve been missing is strong leadership, so move over ScoMo and Jacinda Adern, your big sister ENID is here to provide some guidance.
Let’s start with some scenario planning. Think about the last time you opened your loungewear draw. What did you need sweats for — indoors or outdoors? To be seen or be inconspicuous? And was Ben & Jerry’s in the vicinity or not?
Herein lies our ultimate guide for all occasions, whether appropriate for sweatpants or not.
1. Sweatpants for the sweaty summer season
Sydney is crawling into the 20s (celsius, that is) and boy does that summer air feel fresh. It also means that unless you want to be dripping in sweat, you might need to switch out your winter sweatpants for something lighter.
Assembly Label’s Logo Lounge Pants are perfect for those lazy couch days, and nail the combo of relaxed, tapered and high rise. Get them here.
2. For the ‘ohmygod I’m so bloated’ days
The cramps start to spread, the boobs are beginning to swell, and the wind has changed direction. Oh sister, Aunt Flo is in town.
Never fear, Brandy Melville have you covered in the comfy period sweats department.
And if you’re concerned about blood stains, there are some darker alternatives on the market too. Fleece lined sweatpants feel like a hug on the stomach and The Iconic have some great options.
3. The ‘I haven’t taken my iron tablets in like a month and now I’m really cold’ sweatpants
You know how it goes: hands go cold, the hot water bottle comes out and the warm track pants slide on. PSA: take your iron tablet, ladies! A warm body is a healthy body.
For days when you realise it’s been a couple of weeks since you popped that red Ferrograd pill, these sweatpants from Everlane will be your best friend.
4. The Carrie Bradsaw of sweatpants, because the odds of bumping into him when you look like shit are so much higher
Yes, it happens. You’re hungover, running late, have a pimple that looks angrier than me when I found out that they only have TWO seasons of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills on Netflix — and you run into that person.
For when that inevitably happens, at least you’ll be wearing this cute tie dye sweat pant set from Revolve. Here’s to moving on!
5. Nostalgic sweatpants
As Zapp Brannigan once said, “there’s something very sensual about velour”. We are very much here for a velour moment.
For when you want to pay homage to the noughties, you can go all out. Did we mention that our alter ego is Paris Hilton in a hot pink Juicy Couture track pant?
For a cheaper alternative to the iconic look, try Missguided, which has this kitsch pastel playboy option.
*ENID publicly endorses the acquisition of puppy Schnauzers in a purse to complete your velour look.
6. Sweatpants for that Sunday morning yoga sesh
Sundays are for stretching – and sweatpants! For when you’re heading to a Sunday morning Pilates or yoga class (or not!), these Lululemon active sweats are right there with you.
For the more active days, Australian icon Bonds have a great range of affordable options.
7. Sweats for the ethically-minded
Conscious of where you’re sourcing your sweats? We commend you.
For the ethical queen, Reformation is a great sustainable alternative. They also have four super cute colours.
The future may look bleak, but your choice in sweat pants definitely does not.